Adult Version of Dora the Explorer Edition

I just got to day 55, and boy are my arms tired. (Oh yeah, well, your mom.) I think my testicles have gone on vacation, either that or they have simply abandoned my scrotum to find a place where they will be properly appreciated, like the Castro District in San Fran (maybe San Francisco could be a sponsor?). Hi-O!
Today's post is going to be a celebration of a particular kind of fa'nart, that which depicts Dora the Explorer (DTE) as a sexy, morally casual Latina who needs a good banging. Before I get to that, though, I would like to discuss something with you.

Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date, but a year to make love she wanted you to wait (Nobody beats the Biz)...I mean, have you ever found yourself in a situation in which there is a free space that has no sign on it indicating anything, and when you put yourself in that seat on the bus, or table in the cafeteria, or computer in the lab, or parking space that has no snow in it after a storm, you get bitched at for not seeing the invisible sign indicating the ownership of that space? Have you ever found yourself trying not go 5 year old chimpanzee on the dumb fuck-tard who thinks he can shove you and not have his testicles ripped off and his face and left foot chewed into a fine paste that I would spit out, pick up with my hands, and draw war paint on my face with? No? Well, yeah, me neither.
So, without further ado:

Look at my ass, papi.

Day #55 Dora the Explorer as a sexy, morally casual Latina who needs a good banging #1: This picture. I'm not sure how old she is supposed to be but I'm going to say 22 years old, because look at that ass. I love what she's done with her hair at this point. The little backpack is cute and it pulls her shoulders back so that scoliosis won't be a problem. And neither will saggy boobies. This is what I want every Puerto Rican girl to look like whenever I find myself in a New York City strip club, right before she takes me to the champagne room and shows me how dangly her vagina lips are for a $35.00 tip.

Day #55 Dora the Explorer as a sexy, morally casual Latina who needs a good banging #2: This lovely image. As you can see, this one has Dora portraying something like a 19 year old hotty. I love the vag cramping daisy dukes and the bellybutton shot. Speaking of shooting the bellybutton, Boots looks like he's about to go all St. James on Dora's back. I mean, look at the drool running down his monkey chin. What the fuck? I gotta say, the 22 year old vintage in the previous picture has a much more bangin' body, but this Dora looks like she's just waiting for an anime tentacle monster to violate her in every way possible. So, toss up.

I will hurt your cock if you keep staring.

Day #55 Dora the Explorer as a sexy, morally casual Latina who needs a good banging #3: Another Fa'nart Cartoon. Here we have Dora at, let's say...about... 34 years old. Things have gone very badly for our girl DTE. If you look closely you'll see that Boots is haggard. DTE still has a body like a brick shit house, but she's been without a man for quite some time as she has turned to using Map as a marital aid, and by marital aid I mean dildo. Also, check out Backpack. DTE has been misusing prescription medication for her back (thrown out when she rocked the west end of two-headed dildo at that heroine party, you know, when she was bumping ass cheeks with Jenifer Connely) for so long that Backpack has started to look a little crazy. Or maybe he is crazy and your just an asshole (maybe she didn't feel you any similar interests).

 Day #55 Dora the Explorer as a sexy, morally casual Latina who needs a good banging #4: Real People Dressed as Dora. Girls who post their pictures (on the websites I frequent) of themselves dressed as DTE are all super hot. I could only find two pictures of girls dressed as DTE though, so let's say that all two of them are super hot. This first girl is some random piece of ass from the picture show at College Humor Dot Com. I don't know who she is or where she's from, but tits. I would love the opportunity to check if her nipples are made of chocolate or if they will change into chocolate if I suck on them long enough. This second picture is Jessica Alba. There was a shot of her ass in those orange shorts, but it wasn't clear that it was JAlba in the
shorts and I am committed to 100% honesty when it comes to showing you pictures of her ass. I feel like that is just the right way to comport myself with regard to this blog.

I have never understood the desire to dress up like a cartoon character and going out into the world for everyone to see just how much you think like a 17 year old raver on her way to jailbait the local street pharmaceutical provider into sticking his "D" in her "V." Jailbait looks great, all the time. I guess that's why it's called bait. If young girls who were dressed slutty didn't look amazing, western civilization would be a lot further along, at least in the non-sex-related endeavors. Bee tee dubs, here's a demotivator for jailbait:

Danny Hammer signing out, in your mouth, perv.

P.S. Corey Haim got fucked by the academy. And Charlie Sheen has tiger blood and Adonis DNA. Duh, ...winning.