Day 63. <penis coughs>
It has been brought to my attention that this blog is top heavy. And by top heavy I mean boob-tastic. Tits are amazing. I love everything about them. I love tiny little perky super sensitive nipples. I love big, silver dollar pancake nipples. I like little perky breasts. I like big swinging milk jugs. I like it when they're is too much to hold in one hand. I like when you can hide small woodland creatures under them without the slightest hint to an onlooker. I like when the cans are big enough to wear as a hat. I like for them to be big enough so that if it rains I can stand comfortably under them and not get wet (from the rain). I like them big enough to clog a toilet. I guess I really love big fucking chesticles. So it shouldn't be surprising that there's tits'a'plenty in this blog.
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| Big enough to do this is nice. |
The reason I bring this up is to say that I love a beautiful ass, too. It may (or may not) surprise you that this post will be ASS-tastic!
Day #63: Ass-tastic Example #1: Catherine Zeta Jones in the movie Etrapment.
As soon as this beautiful, Welsh piece of ass appeared on screen in that douche chill inducing movie, The Crotch of Zorro (or whatever the fuck it was), I knew this chick was going to be one to watch (mostly to keep track of when she started doing nudity on screen). As soon as I saw her, I was in love (penis-wise). I was certain that she would have a fantastic career of flashing her tits and jiggling her wonderful turd cutter all around the movie screen. Then, she married Michael Douglas. I cannot even force myself to think about her naked anymore without a mental image of that fucking ancient reptilian, loose-skinned, elderly man draping his scaly, wrinkled, old skin on her as he reciprocates his penis in and out of her beautiful, tight vagina. It's a scene from the tv show "V," accept the lizard isn't a hot alien, but rather is a disgusting old formerly relevant actor. Eeeeww.
Day #63: Ass-tastic Example #2: Kim Kardasian.
This chick has an ass that you could feast on. Here is a picture of Kim with as little clothing on as you can have on and still be a Nike model. She experienced the unfortunate consequences of having a sex tape "leaked" to the public. She did things with a trouser snake that makes Paris Hilton's sex tape look like Vaness Hudgens' audition tape for Disney. Kim could probably get away with putting that posterior anywhere she pleased to do so. I would absolutely let her climb up onto my lap anytime she wants. Also, I would like to wear her ass a hat.
Day #63: Ass-tastic Example #3: Beach Volleyball
I don't know if you've had the chance to see a game of professional women's beach volleyball, but it's like watching a skin flick. And. It's. Awesome. I also cannot explain why it is that Brazil has more fantastic ass having beach volleyball players but they do. I love beach volleyball. I love Brazilian beach volleyball players. I love the "ready position" that beach volleyball players stand in. It's like they are framing their asses just for me. (no, uncle pedo, they don't televise children's bames) Nevertheless, beach volleyball = fantastic bitable asses.That's going to wrap up this foray into the land of the crack, butt crack (LOL, I crack [did it again] myself up). I assure you, I have a shit ton more pictures of wonderful asses.
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| Do I know what rhetorical means? |
Anyway, tits. (This is where I would usually insert a gratuitous tit shot. However, since this is the ass-tastic post, here is a great picture of a girl's ass in leather pants.)
Danny Hammer signing out.
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